Ashton Kutcher to Play Internet Billionaire 'Walden Schmidt' on New “Two and a Half Men”

The buzz is starting to get intense.

Everybody wants to know what role newcomer Ashton Kutcher will be playing in the new season of “Two and a Half Men”.

We know Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones will be returning in a big way. And so will Rose, Berta, and Evelyn – but what about Kutcher?

We told you last week how Kutcher is in charge now, and showed you the new promotional artwork and Ashton’s new two story trailer he has parked on the back lot.

Related: Kutcher in charge at “Two and a Half Men” - Photos

But what everybody is dying to know is how will his character be written into the series and what role will he play?

Well, CBS entertainment president Nina Tassler says she has the dirt.

Charlie Sheen’s character of Uncle Charlie is dead.

Dead, gone, in the ground – never to return again ever on the new show.

Rumor is he was killed in a plane crash and already six feet under when the first show airs.

The season opener will start with Alan, Jake, Evelyn, Rose, Berta, Herb, and Judith throwing a memorial service at the Malibu beach house.

We also hear that all of Charlie’s past girlfriends will make an appearance at the memorial.

And despite rumors that Kutcher’s new character will be named Raymond, we now know he will play the role of Walden Schmidt – an internet billionaire who also has a broken heart.

We think the “Raymond” rumor got started because IMDB has updated the “Two and a Half Men” show credits and is listing Kutcher in the role of Raymond.

We also know that the beach house will go up for sale and there will be several cameos by still living, real life celebrities who stop by to look at the property conveniently brokered by money hungry realtor Evelyn Harper.

While Tassler said that Ashton’s new character will NOT be related to anybody in the Harper family, we know that Alan and Jake somehow get to stay in the beach house indefinitely with no strings attached.

We also know that Rose and Berta will play a prominent role during the new season.

Tassler did say that the first episode will be in two parts because the new plot will take time to reveal itself.

Tassler closed her comments by saying,

“The great news is the show will be as irreverent as it’s always been. And there is great value in hiring an actor like Ashton Kutcher. He is extraordinarily professional, talented, gifted actor who comes with a tremendous amount of commitment and enthusiasm.”

We can’t wait.

I think enough time has passed since Sheen’s antics and the public is over the whole tiger blood and hooker thing.

We think the television viewing audience will embrace the new show and won’t miss Uncle Charlie for a minute.

Go get ‘em Chuck Lorre – we can’t wait to see what you have cooked up.

The first show of the new “Two and a Half Men” season will air Monday September 19th at 9pm.

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